Sunday

I'm currently sitting in Vances office while He teaches Sunday school.
I'm a tad bit emotional today. Actually, I've been hyper emotional for the past month and I only feel its increasing.

I thought the second trimester was supposed to be a wonderful time of feeling great, tons of energy and less mood swings. It appears my body doesn't understand this.

Honestly though, its more than mood swings. Its a heightened sense of thought, emotion, senses... This miracle is happening in me, to me, all around me... and it just makes everything... delicate and sensitive.

I've been attending a Sunday school class led by our Rector over the past month. We've been reading thru the book of Luke. I cannot leave that class without falling to pieces upon hearing our Pastor speak of Jesus. He knows Jesus in such a GRAND way and when I listen to him speak of Him, I melt. My heart is so sensitive to Jesus... to His beauty, His Grace, My absolute desperation for him... even just thinking of Him right now brings tears to my eyes. The mystery of his life and death... it consumes me as of late.

And so, Its not just when people ask me if I'm carrying twins (which happened this morning) or when someone walks up to me and pokes me and calls me pudgy (which happened yesterday) that I fall apart into pieces emotionally, its pretty much anything these days.

Any other women out there experience this when pregnant?

Anyways, Its just something I'm desperately trying to work through. I cannot continue to hide in the bathroom at work and cry because someone hurt my feelings by a thoughtless comment, or cry in the bathroom at church because someone made an insensitive comment about my body. Geesh, apparently I've been crying in bathrooms a lot lately! lol...

To be honest, I feel good and I think I look great. I'm enjoying this miracle inside of me. I'm even enjoying the depth of the emotions I feel towards my God... My life... My baby. I just need to learn how to bridle it in public a bit :)

Lets see, At 17 Weeks...

• I've gained 9 pounds
• I still fit into my dresses and most shirts but have been in maternity pants since 9 weeks
• We have two foster children in our home- two girls, age 1 and 2
• Sleep about 8 hours a night
• Haven't had much of an appetite lately- especially  around dinner time. But i eat to keep my blood sugar balanced and to give Baby G the nutrients he/she needs.
• Exercise maybe 2-3 times a week. I wish it was more, but Life is busy with two toddlers and I'm pooped
• I graduate college this month!!!! FINALLY
• I have my next ultrasound on May 24th and we will find out the sex (so long as baby G is cooperative)
• Still get my feelings hurt by peoples comments but definitely working on it
• I'm currently reading Two natural birthing books and one baby book
• Feeling so close and thankful towards my supportive husband
• My favorite thing about pregnancy so far is still watching my husband light up when he see's my body and listening to him talk to Baby G, rest his head of my belly and whisper the sweetest promises to our unborn child. He is going to be the BEST DAD any child could ask for.
• Received some AMAZING news regarding my blood tests last week- I think I'm still trying to process thru it all, but I will definitely write an update about the blood condition soon.
• Feel strangely and sweetly close to the Father. For that, I am so thankful. There is no where else I ever want to be than at His feet.