This is a picture of Me and my Birth Father... taken in California a little over 5 years ago.
After a lifetime of being disconnected from him because of his drug addiction, I found him in jail about 5 years ago and started writing him letters.
This picture was taken when i visited him after he got out of jail. I hadn't seen him in over 10 years.
My Father, Dave, was at my wedding.
He played the piano like an angel.
It was a dream come true for me. A miracle I never imagined could have happened.
A couple months ago, I got a call early one morning at work.
Long story short, after 5 years of being clean and sober, my father relapsed on meth.
Currently, he has been in jail for the last month and it is likely that he will be sent to the Napa Valley State Mental Hospital for an indefinite amount of time.
I am heart broken.
The other night, I cried... and cried... and cried.
It's as if he has died. Yet worse, because he is still suffering and hurting himself and everyone around him.
I grieve the loss of the man I finally started to get to know.
Life is so painful a lot of the time. So difficult to endure.
HOWEVER...
Hope is not lost. In fact, over the past few months I have experienced peace like I haven't known in a really long time. I feel whole. I feel safe.
In my talks with God, I can once again call Him Father. Abba. For years since I found my Birth Dad in jail, i hadnt been able to call God 'Father'. I'm sure there is a psychological reason for all of this and perhaps it will unfold in the years to come..
But for now, I'm just ThankFULL that I have a Father who is never changing, always close and always loving me. How amazing is the Love the Father lavishes on His Children!
The Father works in mysterious ways. God is bringing Vance and I into a new season of ministry, sacrifice, love... at a time when our hearts are troubled and grieved by the things we must face in this world... and yet, we feel so safe in our Fathers arms...
How blessed we are to be called Children of God.
HOWEVER...
Hope is not lost. In fact, over the past few months I have experienced peace like I haven't known in a really long time. I feel whole. I feel safe.
In my talks with God, I can once again call Him Father. Abba. For years since I found my Birth Dad in jail, i hadnt been able to call God 'Father'. I'm sure there is a psychological reason for all of this and perhaps it will unfold in the years to come..
But for now, I'm just ThankFULL that I have a Father who is never changing, always close and always loving me. How amazing is the Love the Father lavishes on His Children!
The Father works in mysterious ways. God is bringing Vance and I into a new season of ministry, sacrifice, love... at a time when our hearts are troubled and grieved by the things we must face in this world... and yet, we feel so safe in our Fathers arms...
How blessed we are to be called Children of God.
May the Love and Peace of the Father hold you and keep you right where you are.
