Why Jehova Jireh Uses Breast Pumps To Speak To His People

In the midst of the excitement about our new move in 4 short weeks, I would be lying if I didn’t say I’m not scared.

Scared of leaving our home here, our friends, our family, our jobs, our community… our lives here are comfortable, happy and I feel like we have just settled into a really good routine.

All of that is about to be uprooted in 4 short weeks and everything we know is about to change.

Yesterday was rough. We were announcing to our sweet youth group about our leave which was going to be hard because we love those kids so much. A couple hours before church I talked with a lender and found out that we don’t qualify for a loan to buy a home in Houston because we are moving to one income down there (so I can stay home with the babies) and we have too much debt to income ratio (2 car loans and 2 student loans).

I was devastated. It totally took us by surprise- we live comfortably and are very responsible with our money and even though we do have some debt, we never considered ourselves to have “a lot of debt” and never even thought this would be a problem. All of a sudden, my dreams of buying a huge beautiful home in Houston and being homemaker, mommy and host started flying out the window. Where would we live? Would I have to get a full time job just so that we could find a home? I started to panic. All my plans were crashing down around me.

A few hours before we found this out, my breast pump broke out of the blue at work. I rely on this thing to feed my child while he’s at daycare and these things are expensive- a couple hundred dollars- so needless to say, I was freaking out!!!

Thankfully, I work with some awesome engineers who were able to bust the thing open and find that the reason it stopped working was a broken belt. A tiny little plastic piece that was going to cost me a couple hundred bucks!!! After they searched around our warehouse for 30 minutes with no luck, trying to find something similar, they told me my best bet was to go to a hardware store and see if I could find something.

This is where God stepped in.

On my way to youth group last night, I stopped by home depot. I prayed the most pathetic prayer which went something like this, “God, pllleeeeaaassseeee help me. Please cut me a break here. Please let me find someone who wont blow me off but will help me find what I need to make this stupid thing work! Please create this thing out of thin air if you have to! Please help me!” (said in a whiny, broken, pathetic tone)

I walked around home depot for a few minutes with this broken piece of plastic in my hand, looking like a lost puppy- Looking for someone who would see me and offer to help. Finally I approached this older guy with a buzz cut and arms full of tattoos  and asked him if he knew if they had something similar to this. We ended up in the plumbing section and after looking, looking, looking, finally came across a fixture that came with an O-Ring that looked to be the same size. He cut open the box and compared the two pieces  and said, “it looks like this will fit” and handed me the part. I thanked him profusely and reached out my hand to buy the expensive fixture, mad this O-Ring was costing me so much money but thankful it was by far a cheaper route than buying a whole new pump.

I looked up at him, waiting for him to give me the box and he pulled it back and said, “no, here, this is yours. Just take this piece.” I was confused. He had opened up the box and removed part of the fixture. I needed to pay for it. But he just smiled and said, “No, its fine. We just return this part to the manufacturer and they send us back the whole thing and we don’t lose any money on it.”

Seriously, people, this is when it got real ugly. Huge crocodile tears welled up and starting bursting out of me! Tears quickly turned to crying and crying turned to sobbing. Right there in the plumbing isle of home depot. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I knew right there that God, the Creator of the Universe, my maker, was concerning himself (or herself if you like) with my breast pump problem.

Its so ridiculous to think that with all the horrors in this world, the tragedies that are happening every moment, that God would care about my little problems that greatly weigh on my heart.

Yet there I was, with my weak little faith, being so overcome with a sense that God was with me, helping me thru Clark (that was the guys name) and providing for me. He didn’t have to provide that for me. But he knew I needed that encouragement.

I am continually blown away by how God, Jehovah Jireh, has provided for me so many times in my life that I cannot keep count.

Provided for me in the mundane, physical, earthly things. The things that I know aren’t life threatening, but matter to my heart.

The things God uses to speak to us are the physical things of this life. The things we can touch, smell, use…

It’s a mystery to me as to why God chooses to use things like a breast pump to speak to me- encourage me- challenge me. But he does.

How thankful I am that the God who created the stars in the sky cares for me. Little me. Cares for the details of my life. Your life. If we would turn our eyes to Him. Rest in the shelter of his wings. Listen to him.

He is there.

In the form of a man named Clark.

In the provision of fixing a breast pump.

I’m still struggling with fear and doubt and letting my controlling nature die so that God can get to work providing…

But each time I start to worry, I’m brought back to that feeling I was overcome with in Home depot- that feeling of knowing I was being cared for, watched over, listened to…

And I let go of all my striving and just give in to Him.

And Jesus Said, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

A lot happens in 12 months

Have I really not blogged since September?!?

I've had a baby since then. I suppose not much more explanation is needed.

So here I am- December 27^th. Back from maternity leave (and yes, I know I never wrote about my labor or my time at home). I have such great intentions.

Almost on the brink of a new year. This last week before 2013 feels haunting in some way. Like these last moments of this incredibly momentous new year are slowly fading away and I don’t have much time with them left. So much feels unfinished. Unresolved.
Neglected.

I have this hollow feeling inside myself that feels there has been so much happening in the last 365 days and too much of it has been unkempt. Pushed to the side, halfway finished. Neglect to bring any of it to completion.

What the heck am I talking about? Your guess is as good as mine. It’s just a deep sense I have that has been crawling up from deep inside. I keep pushing it down because there is no time to deal with anything other than the present drama of newborns, toddlers, marriage, etc.
However, I’m realizing the ugly consequences of my neglectfulness and how its not just affecting me but the people around me. And its ugly. And I hate it. And I’m not sure how to fix it.

Let me see if I can even think back to the beginning of this year and remember all that has happened.

In January we still had D’Maya and D’Montrey and opened our home to a third foster baby… Ja’Kayla. Little did we know how she would become so much more.
At the end of January we found out we were pregnant! Wow- Three foster kids and a pregnant woman with fluctuating hormones and bad morning sickness- Those were hard times!

The stress of a 4 year old with extreme behavior issues and ADHD, a 2 year old and a 9 month old and being pregnant finally came to a head in March. Our home had become toxic and our marriage was hurting- something had to change. With a heavy heart, we told our agency we could no longer care for the 4 year old- He was more than we were equipped to handle and his behavior was spiraling out of control. CPS ended up moving him to an assessment center where they could decide if his level of care needed to be increased. We kept his sister and Kayla. That was an incredibly hard decision for us- one that I still struggle with to this day. The day to day stress decreased and it was us and the girls.

April marked the end of college for me. What a burden lifted!!! Oh yeah, did I mention I was still in school during the previous months. Looking back, it was only by the GRACE OF GOD that we made it thru those tumultuous months. We also celebrated Kayla’s first birthday. Also, one of my standard blood tests came back revealing there were some antibody issues with my pregnancy and caused quite a scare.

May brought us the discovery that my antibodies were cold antibodies, eliminating the possibility that they could harm my unborn child. Such relief! We also found out that we were having a BOY and were so thrilled!!! Towards the end of May, D’Maya went to be reunited with her brother in a new foster home. That was so incredibly heart breaking for me. So many emotions were wrapped up in that move. Such guilt, worry, sadness… I still struggle to be honest but I have to trust God with their lives. It’s all I can do. By the time the month of May was over, it was just Vance, Kayla, Me and our little boy in my belly. Life finally seemed to calm down and we thought for a moment we could catch our breaths and relax for a while.

June rolled around and was pretty uneventful. Vance went on a week long youth trip and then to a conference for a weekend, so I was alone with the baby more than I was used to. I did get to see Angie Gunter who is like a mother and big sister to me and that was wonderful!!! I was half way thru my pregnancy and feeling as large and in charge as ever. Ha! I thought I was big then!

July rolled around and brought its miserable heat to my swollen body and sickness upon our household! Vance was sick for a month! Like, sleeping on the couch sick because he didn’t want to get his pregnant wife sick. Between my pregnancy hormones, vance being gone for a week and then coming back and getting sick, I had a mini mental breakdown. I felt like I was taking care of Kayla on my own and I was tired!!! I even made vance cry at one point because I was so mean to him. It was UGLY. July was a rough month in the Garvey home.

The sickness stuck around in August and Kayla was hospitalized for pneumonia. That was so hard!!! By this point, we already loved her like she was our own flesh and blood and to watch her be so sick and defenseless was heart breaking. We spent three days in the hospital with her by her side- we never left! The whole situation bonded us to her even more but also caused her to become quite needy and fussy. I think the “terrible two” phase really started after her pneumonia. The poor child has been sick off and on since then, teething, welcoming a baby brother and not being the baby anymore… and becoming a toddler- its hard work to be so little and go thru so many changes. This was also the month she stopped sleeping thru the night… man, August was a hard month as well. Vance and I were exhausted to say the least- I was so pregnant and miserable. AGAIN, the GRACE of GOD brought us thru the summer.

In September, my older brother Ben and my sister Elizabeth whom I was meeting for the first time came to visit us. Lots of emotions stirred inside my heart. We had lots of wonderful baby showers that blessed us with everything we needed and more! The nursery was being prepared, we had decided on a name for our Son, I had already started dilating and I was becoming more and more impatient to bring this baby into the world and out of my body!

Now, thru out  this entire year and specifically late summer, we had been led to believe that Kayla’s case would be open and shut- parents were out of the picture and it looked like she would go up for adoption. Then her biological mom came back into the picture and started trying to gain back custody. Then a cousin on her biological fathers side came into the picture and started trying to gain custody. Everything we thought was guaranteed started to fly out the window and our hearts began to panic. At one point, we really thought we might loose her to biological family and we spent days and weeks grieving the thought that this child we had quickly grown to love might be taken from us. We ultimately had to come to a point of trusting God and waiting it out. The journey of adoption of this little girl still isn’t over- but God has brought us thru the valley’s and mountain tops and we know the best is yet to come.

On October 8^th, 2012 I gave birth to Joshua Anderson Garvey. The month of October is a blur of priceless moments gazing at our son, painful post-partum recovery from a very quick, natural, vaginal delivery, visits of family and friends… but ultimately when our family of three became a family of four. I’m still in awe of the miracle that He is.

November I was home on Maternity leave the whole month. I think I spent that whole month holding Jos in my arms! Kayla had a rough transition with the new baby and her sassiness was at an all time high. Tantrum city! Thanksgiving came and went and I tried to cherish every moment home with my boy. At the end of the month, we had another ER visit, this time for jos due to a high fever. It was horrible!!! After having him catheterized, blood drawn, IV, spinal tap…. They discovered he just had a virus and was better the next day. OH how our hearts broke making him go thru all that at 6 weeks old!!! The saying is true that having a child is like living with your heart outside of our body-  We were just thankful he was healthy and it didn’t turn into anything worse. We also found out that Kayla’s bio mom signed paperwork to terminate parental rights… things were starting to look hopeful for the first time in her case.

On December 10^th I went back to work part time. The kids started daycare part time at Mothers Day Out and we have been so thankful and impressed with the quality of care they receive there! We found out we had been moved to the adoption unit in CPS and had a new adoption caseworker!!! Such a miracle!!! We spent Christmas with dear friends in Houston and had a wonderful time (even though Kayla got bronchitis while we were there).
Now we are back from our trip. New years is right around the corner. Vance leaves on the first for his ski trip and I’ll have the kids alone which I’m dreading- it feels like my arms are chopped off when he is gone.
But what a year! Looking back I honestly don’t know how we made it thru. We had some really dark times. Honestly, I didn’t realize all that had happened this year until I sat down just now on facebook and looked thru all my posts.

In reflecting and sharing our past year, I come back to where my mind is right now.

I struggle with guilt almost on a daily basis because I don’t live up to the person I know I should be… want to be… am called to be.

I’m a horrible example of Grace and love most the time. I’m judgmental, resentful, impatient. I deny myself Grace and as a result, deny others the same gift.

I’m pretty sure this year was eventful by anyone’s standards. I’ll give myself that. I’ve had a lot going on. Its true.

Yet, with each new circumstance or event, I left the previous one unfinished. Unresolved. Neglected.

In a mad rush to keep my head above water, I’ve neglected my soul.

Honestly, I’ve been running around trying to meet others needs so much this past year, that I really haven’t given myself any time to deal with anything. And that’s scary. Its unhealthy. It needs to change.

I’ve hurt some relationships this year because of my neglect. I’ve become a person internally that I don’t really like because of my neglect. My walk with the Creator God that I put all my hope and trust in has become mechanical at best. And that’s not who I want to be. It’s not the life I want to live.
It’s definitely not what I want to teach my children. It’s not what I want for my marriage. It’s not what I want for myself.

My faith in God consumes my entire reason for living- yet… I’ve lost the heart of it in all the business of my life this past year.
My soul (my mind, my emotions, my spirit) have suffered greatly. I know it’s true because I know myself and I’m not the same. People look at me from the outside and may not be able to tell, but I can tell.
I suspect this is an age old struggle for many parents. Children bring a whole new dynamic to the hustle and bustle of our modern lives.

But I don’t want it to stay like this.

I don’t have any huge revelation as to how this is going to Change.
I don’t have any insights as to what to do or where to go from here.
For now, I’m just sharing my discovery of how stagnant my soul has become and my open confession that I don’t want to stay this way.

All the blessings of this past year can’t make up for a stagnant relationship with God.
My prayer for this new year is that God in his Grace and Mercy would bring to me new understandings of the deeper things in this life.
And that I can look back at the end of 2013 and honestly say that I am not the same person…
Because if we are not evolving, we are dying. I don’t want to live life in a state of slow decay.

First Time Experiences

Sometimes I feel sad.

I look at the numerous friends around me who are also pregnant with their first children and feel envious of their experience because I know it differs from mine so much.

I see the words of wisdom friends give to them... like:
"enjoy being baby free now..."
"sleep now while you can..."
"make time to exercise during your pregnancy..."
"enjoy the quiet moments with your husband while you can..."

And it just reminds me that I will never get to have that "first time mom" experience that most women have.

We are not baby free. We have a 16 month old baby/toddler who is venturing into the world of tantrums, non-stop fussing, teething, sleeping problems, picky eating habits and the list goes on. All you moms out there know exactly what I mean.

Our schedules revolve around this little thing. We struggle to get our weary bodies out of bed in enough time to get ourselves ready before she starts crying at 6:30/7:00 am... then we get her up, dressed, fed and rush off to daycare. Then we work all day, go pick her up from daycare, rush home to feed her, bathe her, play with her and get her off to bed- only to fall flat on our faces and veg in front of the TV for an hour or two and try and spend some time together before we fall into bed and do the whole thing over the next day. I mean, this is the life of a Parent.

Who the heck has time for working out, spending quality time with God, going on dates, hanging out with friends, etc, etc. in between all of this? Of course you make time for those things because they are important, but it leaves you stretched very thin for things like- oh i dont know, a hobby?

However, although my heart sometimes feels heavy at the "loss" of this experience, I find myself also filled with so much joy and thankfulness at what I have been given instead.

My husband and I have been given this incredibly humbling and beautiful gift of being foster parents and its not something we take lightly. We GET to love on children who would otherwise not know love. We GET to let the world revolve around them and we GET to show them the love of a mommy and daddy that they wouldnt of had.

We GET to spoil this little girl with all our free time. We GET to share our lives with her and we GET to experience all her firsts with her... First steps, first words, first solid foods... First Birthday, First trip to the hospital, First haircut...

I may not have my "first time mom" experience like so many others do, but honestly, as I write these words, I feel like i've been given something even better.

We dont know what will happen with our girl. We dont know if we will get to keep her or have to let her go. But what I do know, is I wouldnt trade all these "Firsts" with her for anything else in the world.

Sometimes all it takes is getting a little perspective to cheer up :)

Also, I'm getting very anxious like a little kid on Christmas Eve for the birth of our First Son-

34 days and counting until I GET to bring my first child into this world, Hold him for the First time and fall in love with another boy for the second time :)

Our Life

I ran out of pages in my journal the other night and I'm desperate to write and release all these thoughts. So here it goes.

My heart is broken.

We dont talk a lot about Kayla online because we arent really supposed to. We arent allowed to post pictures. We arent allowed to even use her full name or mention aspects of her case. But for those who know us well, they know that we have had this little baby girl in our lives for the past 8 months and that we are desperately in love with her.

She came to live with us just a few weeks before we found out I was pregnant. We werent looking to adopt a baby at this point in our lives. We were content to be foster parents for a while until someday, God put it all together for us to adopt a child.

We bonded to her almost immediately. I would come home from work and watch vances face light up when he would tickle her... hold her, give her millions of kisses on her sweet little cheeks and I knew by how smitten he was that we were in trouble. I was a little bit more guarded at first... I tried to remain emotionally distanced for the first couple months we had her. After all, I had just found out I was pregnant with my first child and that was more than enough for me to process emotionally.

The months have flown by though... cutting her first teeth, taking her first steps, hearing her first words, celebrating her first birthday, taking her to her first hair cut... and we have grown such a deep and fearsome love for this little girl in our souls. A love we were not expecting and a love we could not stifle. No matter how hard i tried to protect myself from feeling those pricks of attachment and adoration towards her... it became useless and we gave in to being totally and completely enamored by this precious girl that came into our lives so unexpectedly.

Perhaps we could have guarded our hearts more carefully, seeing as she is a foster child and there is always the potential for something to come up in her case at any moment. But with both parents being out of the picture and no family members actively pursuing custody of her... we kinda just felt in our hearts that her case would be pretty black and white and that eventually she would go up for adoption.

That was up until a few weeks ago.

All of a sudden, there is family back in the picture fighting for custody and it looks promising for them.
For us, it looks and feels like we are about to lose our baby.

We are in a waiting period right now. Waiting for home studies to be completed on family members. Waiting for bond assessments to be scheduled and carried out. Waiting for August 30th when her next court hearing is and we will probably find out if this little girl is close to leaving our home.

And we have no control. We hardly have any rights. There are some things we can do to fight for custody but we will have to get an attorney and the average cost of getting one is around $15-20 K. We cant afford that. So we wait. We're calling every attorney we know, asking questions, seeking answers, trying to do what little we have the power to do... but it ultimately is out of our control at this point.

The Judge will decide on August 30th if our little girl will go live with family or stay with us. That is all there is to it.

And so, my heart is broken. Our son is due in two months. This should be the most exciting time in our lives, but instead, I'm plagued with sadness and a deep sense of despair. I dont want to feel like that. I dont! But i dont know how else to make it thru the day. Potentially we could be losing one child as we welcome another into the world and the bitter sweet dichotomy of the situation has left me undone.

So this is our lives right now. We ask that you pray for Gods will above all things. and that God would give us the grace to endure whatever it is we are going to endure in the next couple months.

We ask that you pray for Judge Clark and the ability of the holy spirit to speak to her heart on August 30th and give her wisdom and understanding to make the right decision for Kayla.

Pray for the attorney's and caseworkers involved in this case, that they would have favor on us and make right decisions.

And pray for our hearts. Mine, Vance's and Kayla's. We desperately need the love of the Father to lavish us with his peace and comfort in a tangible way... and for baby boy in my womb- that all these tears I'm crying dont negatively affect his development and well being.

27 Week Update

Hello Friends!!!

Some belly pics for you belly pic lovers...

I know you all just love my bathroom pictures I take at work :)

As you can see, my belly has been growing and growing and growing!!!

How I feel: Today I feel great but it fluctuates daily. Sometimes I just feel plain ole miserable.

How I look: Very pregnant! People are always surprised when they ask when I'm due and I tell them I have 3 more months!!!

Dr. Visits: My last visit was quick and everything was right on track. My next visit is next Thursday and I get to do my glucose test! Yeah! (yuck)

Weight Gain: 20 pounds

Symptoms: Heartburn and indegestion but I've been chewing on papaya pills and they seem to help.
Sleep is getting more and more uncomfortable!!! If i sleep on my side i feel like i cant breath! So Vance props me up with a million pillows and that was working but now my butt and tailbone are getting sore- looks like it will be the couch soon!

Emotionally: I tend to be emotional anyways, but all in all I think I'm doing ok. Some days are harder than others. The thought that we will have a son in 3 short months creeps up on me at times and overwhelms me.  In a good way, but still takes me breath away sometimes.

Nesting: Geesh, already giving me the itch to do, do, do... just wish i had the energy and skill to make it all happen.

Showers: Two lovely ladies from our church our hosting us two separate baby showers in August and I'm really excited to celebrate with our friends and family!!!

Kayla: She is 14 months old now and we are more in love with her every day. We are still hoping to adopt her but it will just take time to see what happens with her case, so for now, we are just cherising every moment we have with her.

Vance and I: we are doing great! Vance has been gone a lot this summer with youth trips and work and its been hard on me, but hopefully things will start calming down soon. We miss him so much when he is gone. Plus, i need muscle power to do all my "nesting projects" :)

Well, that's it for now. My bladder is about to EXPLODE so i better end this thing :)

22 Week Update

Lets see, At 22 Weeks...

This picture doesn't do justice in showing how Large my tummy has become. Trust me, I've experienced a growth spurt in the past week or two. I know because it hurts to move and I feel like I'm going to burst into two!

• I've gained 17 ish pounds (EEEEKKK!)
• I have out grown my maternity clothes that I bought in the beginning of my pregnancy. I underestimated how much the rest of me would grow...
• We only have 1 foster child now- our sweet 13 month old Ja'Kayla. She feels more like our daughter than a foster child- we are hoping to be able to adopt her, so we are just waiting to see what happens with her case.
• Sleep has become difficult and painful. Last night I actually had to fall asleep sitting up on our couch because when I laid down in bed i felt like i couldn't breath, no matter how many pillows i propped up behind me.
• We found out we are having A BOY!!!. I hoped it was a boy deep down and Vance was convinced from the start that it was a boy- now we just have to figure out a name!
• Exercise evades me- I've been trying- but whatever... :)
• I am OFFICIALLY DONE with school. What a burden lifted.
• I have my next ultrasound on June 21st. This will be the first one Vance misses because he will be on a youth trip in Colorado.
• I'm pretty used to people's comments about my size now and dont take such offense. I've decided that if they feel comfortable telling me how HUGE i look, they are probably just referring to my belly and not the rest of my body- because that would just be rude ;)
• I need to get back into reading my birth books. I stopped reading them for a couple months because I was getting overwhelmed, but I need to start thinking more about my birth plan and preparing myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually for labor.
• Feeling so close and thankful towards my supportive husband (This will never change! Especially after having the worlds biggest pregnancy meltdown last night and he held me and comforted me like a pro)
• My favorite thing about pregnancy right now is feeling little guy move. He kicks all the time. Vance hasnt been able to feel it yet which is frustrating because I can feel it so much, but hopefully soon he will get to experience our son moving inside of me :)
• Really prayed for the first time last night that God would help me enjoy being pregnant because if I'm honest (and I always am) I havent enjoyed it much. Its uncomfortable, I feel out of control of my body, My hormones are out of control, My body is not my own, etc, etc.. but I'm really trying to find the beauty in all of it... which I need supernatural help with right now ;)

Spending Wisely

Reading a good book lately about stories...really its about life-narratives essentially...and with Maya set to leave within the week, been thinking a lot. Loads of people tell us all the time (Nicole and I that is) that they could never be foster parents because they know how much their heart would break when the children left their home. And believe me...it does. It hurts so badly. Foster care and the concept of adoption where possible and appropriate is very close to our hearts. So I would challenge all those who would say the same with this...to those who say they cant foster because it would hurt..."What if Jesus said the same?"

Each one of us...every day...make choices that metaphorically and symbolically could be imagined as us choosing to walk away from his embrace. And...every day, with every choice, he always chooses to take us into his arms once again, because he understands that we NEED his love. Even if, because of our choices, it is sporadic, inconsistent, and brief.

As I consider a second child leaving our home...this is how I process it. We are called to love. As foster parents, we are called to love kids, knowing all the while that they may be taken from our arms at the drop of a hat. But the more i think of it, the more I am repeatedly convinced that this great sense of loss is one more way in which we know beyond knowing that the calling, and living this narrative is worthwhile. the pain of loss shows us we are doing something right, something good, and something that will bear much fruit for the Kingdom.

For me, a person who has always looked at life through the lens and perception that life is a living narrative, I am certain of one thing from my own experiences. In my opinion, living the Christian life will most certainly be painful at times. But in those moments we have to opportunity, if we really choose to see, to experience a love so deep and a peace so wide that our hearts could contain it all.

In other words, for, I believe that Jesus called us to be disciples. And part of being a disciple is choosing to love those around us knowing full well that we will be hurt and wounded and pained. There are thousands of children who need loving homes, even if only for a short while. And, in my opinion, it is not some cheesy bit of religiosity to say that a loving foster home may well be the only loving home they ever see or experience.

I used to disregard these thoughts under the assumption that some people are called and some aren't. But I lost my ability to ignore a certain passage of scripture some years ago, after meeting one of the most influential people in my life. In the book of James the brother of Jesus tells us what true religion really is. He declares that it is to "look after orphans and widows in their distress." What are foster children if not orphans? Even temporarily.

Sure, God is faithful, and most certainly has his hands on his children, especially the little ones. He will be faithful to provide them with those shining examples of love and goodness and hope throughout their lives. But please, don't assume you aren't one of them just because loving them would cost you something. After all, loving me cost Jesus everything.

Love is costly. Be an example; spend yourself wisely.