Today's one of those days.
I have a Final Exam tonight that I haven't even studied for.
I have a paper due in the next couple days that I've known about since last summer and I'm only half way done with it.
And I have our foster children on my mind.
My love for these kids has evolved in just 3 short months. It feels like its been a year.
As each month passes, we get closer to finding out a little more of what will happen to these kids. Where they will go. What decisions will be made for them that will forever effect them.
Today is a crying day. I'm sitting here in Starbucks on my lunch break ( i should be studying) but instead, I'm writing... i need the catharsis. People always tell Vance and I that we are so brave, or strong, etc. for becoming foster parents. The truth is, we are non of those things, and the hardest part is yet to come. Caring for these kids is easy compared to the pain of having to watch others decide their future for them and the possibility of having to let them go.
I'm so thankful that God has called my Husband and I to the special ministry of Fostering Orphans. It is such an honor and blessing and truly, these kids have been such gifts.But sometimes, its just shitty. Today is one of those shitty days. Thats really the only way I can explain it.
WE covet your prayers. For the outcome of the kids case, for the months ahead that are sure to be beautiful and rocky.
P.S. Why must Starbucks play such depressing music?! As if I'm not already ttrying to keep it together today. Seesh...
~Nicole
