I'm just that special

Well, we had another OB appointment today and I feel I have a better understanding of the blood abnormality they found.

For those of you interested, test results from my last blood tests found a very rare antibody in my blood that is built against the M-antigen in Vance's blood. This is not the same thing as being RH+ or RH- for those who are wondering. They cannot give me a shot of RhoGam  to protect the baby from my antibodies.

Basically, IF Vance has passed this M-Antigen to the baby, my antibodies could potentially start attacking the red blood cells of the baby which could lead to fetal anemia, which could lead to fetal heart failure.

In all my OB's years of practice, she has yet to have a patient with this Anti M antibody. I am JUST that SPECIAL :)

Right now, we are just going to continue to check my titers (antibody levels)  every 4 weeks to monitor them and make sure they don't surpass a threshold of 1:8. If they do increase above this level, I will be sent to see a specialist in Dallas. This specialist will use a Doppler ultrasound that monitors specific blood vessels in the baby and checks growth, development, heart function, etc.

WORST case scenario... If my titers keep increasing before I am full term or even 28 weeks... they can do blood transfusion to the fetus via umbilical cord to provide it the red blood cells my body is attacking- this can be very tricky and probably isnt the safest procedure... seeing as how they would need to stick a very large needle thru my belly to reach into the umbilical cord.

Potentially, worst case, I would have to deliver per-term, have a c-section or have a possible blood transfusion myself.

But i'm not letting myself go there. Right now, we have no reason to worry. They took some more blood today and we will find out my titer results within the next week.

For now, we are just enjoying each day as it comes. I'm looking at this situation as an awesome way for God to glorify himself in my life. I know He will take care of us. I trust God. I have no control over any of this. God just decided I was special enough to handle some rare blood abnormality.

Isn't it funny how he chose one of the most highly paranoid and obsessively worrisome people to put in this situation? :) this is all just a part of the refining process and parenting journey. Lack of control and complete trust. I'm happy to report that I really am calm and not worrying about this, and THAT is a work of God for anyone who really knows me :)

For now, we just need prayer that my titers stay very, very low and that they never reach 1:8. If they do, we will cross that bridge when we get there.


Our next ultrasound is May 24th. We will find out the sex of the baby then (if baby is in good position). I am sooo excited! Baby's heart beat was 144 bpm today- much lower than the previous 177 bpm but Dr. says thats normal for it to start decreasing as it gets bigger. I'm anxious to get another picture of Baby G and find out their sex. I think I've already started to feel movements... they feel different than just gas.

All I know is this baby is destined to be a fighter. Between having a virus when i first found out i was pregnant, to having the flu, to now this blood thing... baby G hasnt had it easy but I know he/she will be resilient :)

Just a little update...

How did you find out you were pregnant?   I am one of the most paranoid people you will ever meet! For the first three years of our marriage, I would have to estimate I’ve taken roughly 50 pregnancy tests! Why was I always convinced I was pregnant?!? The morning I woke up and peed on a stick was like any other of those times, except this time… It was positive.
What were your 1st symptoms?  Before I took the test, I had very little symptoms- I just felt Like I was about to start my period.
Who did you tell first?  I woke my sweet husband up at 5am by yelling, “Vance! You need to come in here! What does that look like to you?!??!”
My 1st reaction:  Shocked. It felt very surreal to see a positive after only trying for 3-4 weeks. We hadn’t expected to get pregnant THAT fast!
Was your baby planned?  Yes. Christmas day Vance surprised me with a little onesie he had made, that basically said something to the affect that he wanted to start trying for Baby Garvey. The next month I was pregnant!
How far were you when you found out?  I think I was probably only 3 ½ - 4 weeks when I found out- I forgot to mention the part where I had taken a test a few days before the positive one.. which was negative of course, but you know me… I’m THAT gal. The one who has a weird feeling in her side and assumes she is pregnant so she takes a test!
Due Date:  October 10, 2012 (the day before my birthday)
How many weeks are you? I’ll be 15 weeks tomorrow!
Do you know the sex?  Not yet- At our last sonogram the Dr said she thought it kinda looked like girl parts but it was too early to tell. Vance is convinced it’s a boy and I have NO clue- we will find out in May.
Any names?  For now, its Baby G. We are going to keep the name a secret until its born.
Any Ultrasounds?  My first one was at 6 weeks! (I thought I was closer to 8 at the time). Then I had one at 10 weeks. My next one is next Monday and I’ll be about 16 weeks.
Have you heard the heart beat?  Yes! So amazing! At 6 weeks it was 122 BPM. At 10 weeks it was 170 BPM- Baby G has a strong heart!
Who do you think it will look like?  NO Clue! I think that’s one of the most exciting parts about meeting the baby for the first time… seeing what qualities we each gave the baby.
Have you felt the baby move?  No. Just lots of Gas! I cannot wait to finally feel it!
Did you have morning sickness?  Yes! The first three months were pretty rough. I never threw up (except for that virus I got) but I was nauseous all day every day- the only thing that helped was eating.
Did you have any cravings?  I want French Fries allllll the time!
Did you have any mood swings?  Don’t ask my husband that. Its hard to be happy when you feel like crap all the time- there might have been the occasional night when Vance came home and I was balling my eyes out while laying on the floor- or when I almost had a meltdown because I was making nachos and my cheese got crusty- lol… I’m working on it.
Any complications?  The only oddity that has come up recently has been the discovery of an antibody my blood has against an M antigen. We found out Vance has this M antigen, so we will have to do routine blood tests every 4 weeks to make sure my antibody levels aren’t increasing. If they do, the doctor says this is very treatable (don’t know what the treatment is yet) but she has told me not to worry.
When did you start to show?  My belly does bizarre things thru ought the day. One moment I don’t look pregnant and the next I look 6 months pregnant! Its HUGE at night! I would say you could see a small bump around 11 weeks but its nothing to write home about.
How long could you wear your regular clothes?  I’ve been in maternity jeans since 8 weeks. I guess I’m just one of those lucky girls who’s back and hips exploded with extra cushion the moment they found out they were pregnant.
Home or Hospital?  Hospital.  We live too far from the hospitals to consider a home birth.
Natural or Medicated birth?  I am going to strive for an unmediated birth as much as possible. I make no guarantees to anyone or myself, but that is my goal. My mom popped her babies out in 4-5 hours, so I’m praying its hereditary!!!
What is your favorite thing about being pregnant?  So far- my stretchy pants? ;) No actually, my favorite thing is watching my husband’s face light up when he looks at my belly and when he talks to the baby, rubs my belly and is just glowing (at least one of us is glowing) :)
What is the worst thing about being pregnant?  Feeling out of control about how my body is changing (getting fat), gas, bladder pain, indigestion, fatigue, moodiness… must I continue?
What’s one thing you miss doing since being pregnant?  Happy hour.

The weekend we found out... around 4 weeks

 Six Weeks...

 

10 weeks... Just a lot of bloating

 

14 weeks

Maundy Thursday

Last night we attended the Maundy Thursday service at our church. Its a celebration of the passover. The beautiful night when Jesus shared with his disciples that He was to become their sacrifice. That they were to use his flesh and blood to mark themselves with, so that God's wrath would Pass.Over.Them.

At our church, we have the washing of the feet, just as Jesus did for his disciples that passover evening.
The priests humbly bow in front of bowls at the front of the sanctuary and whoever wishes to walk up and have their feet washed may do so.

I am perpetually cold natured, and in true form, was freezing last night inside the sanctuary. So, my sweet husband went to the back were they keep some knitted shawls that some ladies from the church have made, and wrapped it around my shoulders.

Shortly after the service started and while the choir was singing so beautifully, a woman from our church walked thru the doors, holding the arm of another woman whom i presumed she found wandering the street. Our church is located in the center of downtown Tyler and although we have many ministries to the poor and homeless, we rarely see someone from the street walk thru the doors for a service.

It was beautiful and refreshing to see one of our members hold this woman up, walk her inside, wrap her arms around her and stand proudly with her. I was thankful to witness such a beautiful act of service, kindness and love. This older woman who was clearly homeless was wearing a dress, no bra, little sandals that had seen better days and had a beach towel draped around her shoulders. She was missing half her teeth and couldn't walk on her own without assistance.

As the service continued and I watched our beautiful clergy serve our congregation, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Overwhelmed with thankfulness for their sacrifices. Somehow, washing others feet is the perfect picture of humility and service. These men and women who work long, ridiculous hours. Who are always giving and giving and giving of their time, they energy, their emotions. I was so full of thankfulness for them.

And I couldn't stop looking back at this woman seated behind me. Watching her disheveled body limp towards the front to get her feet washed by one of the priests, with her beach towel wrapped around her... I couldn't help but realize that her and I were no different. Me, with my shawl wrapped around my shoulders, and all her outward brokenness was just the same as my inward brokenness.

Thinking of the priest who washed her feet. Her dirty feet. Her swollen, disheveled, broken, dirty feet that he washed with his bare hands. How hard might it have been for him to pick up her feet and rub the dirt off with his hands... and yet, that is what Jesus has done for us.

He has picked us up, out of our filth, off of the street, with our filthy garments and beach towels wrapped around our shoulders, and walked us into the knowledge of his love. He sacrificed his perfect self for our filthy, decaying, broken selves. He did it gladly. Lovingly. Sacrificially.

The words sacrifice and service kept swimming around my mind last night. All I can do is meditate on these treasures and let God grow the seeds being planted.

I'm so thankful for the servants of God. For those women. For our leaders. For those broken people who give us peeks of Gods love.  But most of all, thankful this Good Friday for Jesus. I have had my doubts about you Jesus. We have had our battles- I've screamed and cursed you in the middle of the night, scared, confused and full of unbelief. It has been an incredibly difficult journey of faith with You and Me. But Jesus, I'm still here, at your feet. You never left me. Even when if felt like you did. I'm here and so thankful for you.